McGwire & the Dopeman

In 1987, I was an eleven year old boy growing up in the Bay Area watching Mark McGwire play for the Oakland A’s. That year he hit 49 home runs and won Rookie of the Year. One year later, my room had two posters of his teammate Jose Canseco, the first player to hit 40 home runs and steal 40 bases. Almost 20 years later, I am in my house watching the Bob Costas' interview with Mark McGwire admitting that he used steroids.
McGwire reports that he didn’t use steroids during his rookie season and that he first used steroids for health purposes. Then comes the question that makes my internal lie detector go off. Costas points out that’s all fine and great, but that the performance enhancing aspects must have become evident. McGwire goes on to deny that he saw any evidence that the steroids had any performance enhancing aspects and avoids answering if steroids made him stronger. He insists he took the steroids for “health purposes.” He goes on to label himself the “walking mash unit.” Let me put some emphasis on this: The Walking Mash Unit.
Costas, ever the baseball historian, gives him some pretty, clear, undeniable evidence of the impact of steroids in baseball. “During the stretch from ‘85-‘94 there were 21 players who hit forty home runs. From ’95-‘03 there were 104 players who hit forty home runs.” McGwire attributes his increase in home runs to better technique. Costas goes on and asks McGwire to explain how Bonds averaged a home run every 15 at bats before 2001 and then in 2001 averages a home run every 6.5 at bats. Then Costas has a brilliant quote, almost flabergasted, “something was happening.”
Something was happening. It was then that McGwire told Costas that he wishes that “we had drug testing. You and I wouldn’t be having this conversation.” For me, it felt like the first truthful thing he said in the conversation.
The point is this: the McGwire story is a distraction from THE question: why wasn’t there drug testing? That is the only question that matters. It is the only question of importance. And if you have the answer for that one, all of this other crap means nothing. The answer is of course, the reoccurring, drumroll, please: mo’ money, mo’ money. And look no further than the dopeman himself: “Don” Bud “Dopeman” Selig, aka the Commish.

Bud “Dopeman” Selig’s contract is currently set to expire at the end of 2012 at which time it is reported he plans on retiring. Selig took over the position in 1992 as the acting commissioner, becoming the official commissioner of baseball in 1998. According to an article by Andrew Bagnato of sfgate.com, revenue increased by almost 5 billion dollars, between ’92 and ’07. If you want to know the reason Selig is still the commissioner- that is the reason.
When did Selig know about steroids being used in baseball? According to Greg Stejskal, a retired FBI agent, reports that he shared the results of their investigation that “led to more than 70 steroid-related convictions” to MLB’s security boss, Kevin Hallinan in 1994. Stejskal confirmed that in their investigation both Canseco and McGwire were identified. Asked in the last week when Selig had found out about McGwire’s steroid use he reported “beforehand, but not by much.” Sixteen years seems like it should qualify as “much.”
The NFL began testing for steroids in 1987. In 1994, when Stejskal shared this information with MLB there was no “drug testing program at the time.” According to MLB.com’s own article on MLB’s drug policy in 1998, the year McGwire hit 70 home runs: “A jar of androstenedione is discovered in the locker of St. Louis slugger Mark McGwire, …McGwire admits he uses the steroids precursor …Using steroids, precursors or performance-enhancing drugs is not illegal at that point in Major League Baseball.” The timeline goes on to say that in 2001, MLB implements random drug testing (steroid, performance enhancing drugs (PEDs), and drugs of abuse (marijuana, cocaine) for the minor leagues. In 2002, it states that no MLB player can be tested without probable cause. At this same time, it was public knowledge that Ken Caminiti admitted to Sports Illustrated that he used steroids during in NL-MVP season in 1996.
In March of 2003, all MLB players all MLB players are subject to be tested once during the season. After the season it was announced that 5-7 percent of those tested returned positive. According to the article, “Commissioner Bud Selig said in a statement that he was pleased to learn ‘that there is not widespread steroid use in baseball.’” Six years later, a report surfaces that AL-MVP Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids. Soon after, Rodriguez confirms that he was using steroids between 2001-2003.
It appears that it wasn’t until Congress became involved that MLB began to reform, tighten their permissive drug policy. In this case, the cliché it takes an act of Congress to get something done is dead on.
On January 11th, 2010, the Dopeman declared that “the so called steroid era is clearly a thing of the past…” and reports that in 2009 there were two positive tests for banned substances out of 3,722. According to a New York Times article, Michael Schmidt interviewed Travis Tygart, head of the US anti doping agency: “He said that? “If so, it sounds like the same stick-your-head-in-the-sand approach that led to this whole mess. I find it hard to believe that is what he said.” According to Jay Marrioti of the Chicago Sun-Times, there were 108 exemptions who supposedly were diagnosed with attention deficit disorder; therefore, ok’d by MLB to use amphetamines. (Off Subject: I am not sure how amphetamines would classify as a PED. It sounds like the Robin Williams skit on the snowboarder who lost his gold medal because he tested positive for marijuana and the Olympic committee classified pot as a PED.) Marrioti did the math and figured that while it is estimated that 4.5 percent of the American society has ADD, 9 percent of major leaguers have ADD. In addition, MLB does not even test for human growth hormone (HGH.)
With all the debate about whether McGwire, Bonds, Rodriguez, Ramirez, Clemons should be in the Hall of Fame (and most pundits agree that any player to have used PEDs shouldn’t be in the Hall of Fame) there is very little discussion about the man in charge of the league when this was allowed to happen. The lesson here is, I guess, if you can increase profits by 5 billion dollars you can do whatever you want.

Meet Zucker Fucker: The Conan-Leno Clusterfuck

You never quite know the whole story until you start looking into the story you are going to write. This is what I discovered when I found myself upset that NBC was looking to fuck over Conan O'Brien. I admit I am not a diehard Conan fan. The show is DVR'd in the house but I wasn't the one that set the series recording. I don't watch Letterman. I don't watch Leno now. I didn't watch Leno then. For my money, Conan is the funniest of them all.
There are rumors floating out in rumorland that Leno will be moving back into the 11:30 slot. What's the big deal right? Perhaps no big deal, unless you have committed yourself to writing a blog for ten years and need a topic to write about. For me the difference between a blog and a rant, is a story. My rant started off something like "NBC sucks ass!" And although this still remains true, I basically didn't have anything to write after that. Why does NBC suck ass? Why is NBC doing it? Who is responsible?
It seems the man responsible is Jeff Zucker, according to a wonderful article by the Chronicles' Tim Goodman( http://www.seattlepi.com/tv/412579_DDE61AMFQT.html) written in November of 2009. It is difficult for me not to think of Alec Baldwin's character on 30 Rock when thinking of Zucker. In 2004, Zucker was the one that made the deal so that O'Brien would take over for Leno. It seemed, based on Leno's own words that he was willing to leave on his own terms. "In 2009, I'll be 59 years old and will have had this dream job for 17 years. When I signed my new contract, I felt that the timing was right to plan for my successor and there is no one more qualified than Conan." That seems pretty straightforward, right? A-ha, not so fast. In 2008, David Letterman, Leno's chief rival, was quoted in Rolling Stone saying: "Unless I'm misunderstanding something, I don't know why, after the job Jay has done for them, why they would relinquish that." This isn't exactly the bloody knife, but if Leno had felt that the "timing was right," why would he want he want to do a similar TV program, an hour and a half earlier, for an hour, on the same network? In December of 2008, it was reported that NBC would keep Leno and give him his own one hour show. This is when I would have been saying, "What the fuck?" if I was Conan.
Let's give Leno the benefit of the doubt. He probably changed his mind and realized that doing stand-up in Las Vegas for the rest of his life wasn't exactly how he wanted to end things. Keeping Leno on NBC guranteed that a rival network wouldn't land the man that "defeated handily" Letterman year after year. Either way you look at it, it's a classic clusterfuck!
It is easily understandable as to why NBC is looking to replace Conan with Leno. What is the bottom line in business? Mo' money, mo' money! Conan and Leno, according to the cryptic Nielson ratings, aren't delivering compared to their competitors. I suppose the ratings aren't as cryptic as it would seem (I think). The higher the ratings the more money you make. That is my simple guess. How do you fix this problem? Put the man that has been beating the shit out of his competitors for over 15 years back in the slot that he orignally came from. Voila'! Problem solved! Ah, but there is one slight problem. Probably, not a problem in business: an agreement, aka, a promise. A promise made by the man, the company to Conan in September of 2004.
So, now six months after Conan took over the show with the curtains and the backdrop of L.A., an executive is panicking. I'm certain this shit happens all the time in Hollywood. I am sure a man's word isn't worth a lot, and an executive's word is a lot less.
Jeff Zucker should be the one exiting his seat, not Conan. It's not even that Conan deserves a shot. He has been waiting five years. He is the same great talent at 11:30 as he was at the 12:30 time slot. Zucker, admit it. You fucked up. You are the unnamed man in the middle of all of this. Conan deserves more than six months. You should exit stage left.