Head Above Water (Parenting)

 I decided that I would write about parenting. Reflecting on my "blogs" (which also on reflection is a horrible name for anything) I realized that I was keeping most of personal life out of my blog. This was by design. I don't want this site to be a diary. Or, at that was not my original intention. I can't remember when I starting writing this and I am too lazy to look it up. I do believe it was before my first child was born. Now, in the midst of a 5 year old and a 3 year old, watching Sesame Street at 9 in the morning, I have decided it is impossible for me to not write about parenting. Oh yes, and next to the computer open on the table is a copy of The Child Whisperer, by Carol Tuttle. This is how desperate I am.
For the most part, my wife and I split time watching our children while the other is at work. This is fortunate for a couple of different reasons. The first is that what I pay in rent and what I pay in child care is about the same. The second is that is nice to actually have more time with your own children. This is what I thought before I had kids. I didn't anticipate that my job would be less stressful and a bit of a break from being with my children.
I thought I was prepared for parenting. I had babysat when I was a teenager. I have always enjoyed being around children and looked forward to having my own. Fortunately, this morning has been tame, thus far. Maybe, it's the calm before the storm. This is what I imagined in my perfect family scenario-quiet children. No whining voices. No disobeying. No jumping off couches. No repeating myself. If every morning was like this one-ahhh.
While I have never participated in soldiering, or had PTSD, I believe I encountered something similar (without belittling true war experiences). Hence, one of the reasons I decided to even look at this Child Whisperer book. I looked through the book and I am not buying what it is selling. The basic premise is that there are 4 types of children, or energy profiles.I am always looking to add secret weapons to my parenting arsenal, but I don't think this one will fit into my armory.
My goal in parenting is a simple one-survive, without doing as little harm as possible along the way. What? No mention of love? Love is needed, of course. But when the battle lines are drawn between them or me, love transforms itself into an entirely different animal.
Parenting can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life. But why? It is constantly engaging. It is challenging. There are several teaching moments, for the child and the parent. I write this as my boy is using my milk frother on my marble table as a drum. A week ago, I never let them touch it. Now, it is used everyday in ways only a child can imagine. Am I bending my own rules? God yes. Then, there are those constant voices in my head that says "you should be stronger" or "you should go more easy on the child". In old cartoons, it has been depicted there is an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I wish they would identify themselves when speaking, because there are times I am not sure which is which.
Anyways, I think my time on the computer is coming to an end. As my daughter presses the enter button she tells me that I never let her do anything.
I feel for all the parents out there, more than I ever did before. I suppose this is a wonderful byproduct of parenting. I hope I do keep my head above water. Fingers crossed.

Cairo Time

Juliette: I like your dress.
Tareq: It's a thawb.

The other night on Netflix I watched Cairo Time (1999). The movie starred Patricia Clarkson (Six Feet Under) as Juliette and Alexander Siddig as Tareq. Juliette's husband, Mark, works for the United Nations and is unable to meet her at the airport. Tareq, a former colleague of Mark's, acts as a guide to Juliette because of Mark's absence. This isn't a political movie; however, there is a tense scene that illustrates the danger of a woman walking in Cairo that is unsettling. The movie reminded me of Before Sunrise with the natural, unforced conversations and happenings between Tareq and Juliette. There are few romantic films I can recall that takes place in the "Middle East". I was overly impressed with Alexander Siddig's performance. He reminded me of a modern day Omar Sharif.

Regardless of his cultural background, Mr. Siddig could hold his own with any leading actor today. I loved writer and director's Ruba Nadda's film. I am not familiar with her other works, but looking her up on IMDB reveals an extensive catalog. Patricia Clarkson also delivers an outstanding performance. She has a wonderful presence in the roles she portrays. Cinematographer Luc Montpellier needs to be recognized for creating stunning shots and a beautiful palette on film. He was the cinematographer of Take this Waltz and Away from Her, as well. And last but not least, the soundtrack is amazing. The score is done by Niall Byrne. The Arabic music used in this film was spectacular, as well.

The film is a real gem. It is not often that you find these in the rough. As a cinephile, it is rewarding to come across a feature that can deliver such pleasure.

Greetings

1. It has been four months since my last entry on those wonderful birds of Central Park. If anyone read this blog, those people might wonder what I have been doing. It is true there is never a dull moment. Boredom truly is "trapped awareness". Last night Coleen and I went to see the David Byrne and St. Vincent concert at Cuthbert park. David is the singer for the Talking Heads. I never was a huge fan growing up, since I think I missed the pinnacle of their fame. I have been more interested in his solo efforts, especially his collaborations with Brian Eno. He was a true stage performer. His dances seem inspired by the modern greats, ala Merce Cunningham and Martha Graham. Coleen and I both speculated how hold he is (61) and we looked up his info when we got home. I am adding his journal to my bookmarks. If ever I was funded through American television I would love to do an adventure across the United States shopping at Ma's and Pa's on Main St.. Since this tour began, Mr. Bryne takes us on an adventure through the backstreets and cross-sections of strange territory.
 Here is his link:
http://journal.davidbyrne.com/

Needless to say, the concert was fabulous. St. Vincent is astonishing and is creating some of the best music out there currently. She summed up her experience of Mr. Byrne by describing him as someone who has brought more joy to this world since his birth and that is a goal all of us should aspire to. I couldn't agree more.