Head Above Water (Parenting)

 I decided that I would write about parenting. Reflecting on my "blogs" (which also on reflection is a horrible name for anything) I realized that I was keeping most of personal life out of my blog. This was by design. I don't want this site to be a diary. Or, at that was not my original intention. I can't remember when I starting writing this and I am too lazy to look it up. I do believe it was before my first child was born. Now, in the midst of a 5 year old and a 3 year old, watching Sesame Street at 9 in the morning, I have decided it is impossible for me to not write about parenting. Oh yes, and next to the computer open on the table is a copy of The Child Whisperer, by Carol Tuttle. This is how desperate I am.
For the most part, my wife and I split time watching our children while the other is at work. This is fortunate for a couple of different reasons. The first is that what I pay in rent and what I pay in child care is about the same. The second is that is nice to actually have more time with your own children. This is what I thought before I had kids. I didn't anticipate that my job would be less stressful and a bit of a break from being with my children.
I thought I was prepared for parenting. I had babysat when I was a teenager. I have always enjoyed being around children and looked forward to having my own. Fortunately, this morning has been tame, thus far. Maybe, it's the calm before the storm. This is what I imagined in my perfect family scenario-quiet children. No whining voices. No disobeying. No jumping off couches. No repeating myself. If every morning was like this one-ahhh.
While I have never participated in soldiering, or had PTSD, I believe I encountered something similar (without belittling true war experiences). Hence, one of the reasons I decided to even look at this Child Whisperer book. I looked through the book and I am not buying what it is selling. The basic premise is that there are 4 types of children, or energy profiles.I am always looking to add secret weapons to my parenting arsenal, but I don't think this one will fit into my armory.
My goal in parenting is a simple one-survive, without doing as little harm as possible along the way. What? No mention of love? Love is needed, of course. But when the battle lines are drawn between them or me, love transforms itself into an entirely different animal.
Parenting can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life. But why? It is constantly engaging. It is challenging. There are several teaching moments, for the child and the parent. I write this as my boy is using my milk frother on my marble table as a drum. A week ago, I never let them touch it. Now, it is used everyday in ways only a child can imagine. Am I bending my own rules? God yes. Then, there are those constant voices in my head that says "you should be stronger" or "you should go more easy on the child". In old cartoons, it has been depicted there is an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I wish they would identify themselves when speaking, because there are times I am not sure which is which.
Anyways, I think my time on the computer is coming to an end. As my daughter presses the enter button she tells me that I never let her do anything.
I feel for all the parents out there, more than I ever did before. I suppose this is a wonderful byproduct of parenting. I hope I do keep my head above water. Fingers crossed.